Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
