Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
