I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
