I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
