I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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