Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
