So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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