I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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