after a month anything with tits is on the radar
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
