yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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