I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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