FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
