matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
