i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
