bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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