All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
