I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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