So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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