The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
