He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
