I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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