He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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