I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
