I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
