Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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