so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
