he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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