fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just pee around me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
