I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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