took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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