He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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