I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
