are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
