I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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