i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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