THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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