Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
