Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
