Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
