Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
