I'm going to jail i love you
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
