office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
