peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
