Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
