ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
