i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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