You're completely useless in the revolution.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The beer is more important than you right now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just high enough for therapy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
