They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
