That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
