oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
